A week before birthing my first child I received an uncharacteristic e-mail from a family member. Seconds later she sent another e-mail apologizing, stating that she needed a “do-over.”
What she wrote afterward was more aligned with her character. She made a mistake, owned up to it, corrected it, thus we could easily move on.
How my cousin handled her blip in communication has served me well. I have used the “do-over” on several occasions since then to self-correct. There have also been times that I didn’t catch myself in the moment and realized later that I missed a “do-over” moment.
It takes awareness, vulnerability, and courage to “do-over” in the moment.
Mindfulness is important when interacting with others so that you can be aware of what you’re saying and how you’re saying it. Is it the right time to have a conversation? How well are you listening to the other person?
Are you present in the conversation or biding time until it’s your turn to speak? Slip ups happen. Luckily, if you’re aware, you can correct yourself on the spot with a “do-over.”
Do-overs also take vulnerability. I’m taking part in Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead training offered by my employer, Candid. According to Brené Brown, one of the foundational skill sets of courage-building is “rumbling with vulnerability,” which encompasses uncertainty, risk and exposure.
With these elements of vulnerability, It’s easy to understand why do-overs may not be so common.
The courage needed to admit and correct an error in judgment in the moment is often clouded by ego. That’s why we, and leaders in particular, must continuously strive to remain humble and curious as we deal with day to day life and its challenges.
Slip ups happen and the “do-over” is a useful tool to self-correct when needed.
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