Research consistently demonstrates that “too much change, too fast” is a recipe for goal abandonment. People simply give up because sustaining change requires changing at a deeper level. That's why UchallengeU hosts free weekly accountability check-ins. Also, in our various 21-Day challenges, we focus on One Main Thing (OMT) per challenge. It's an incremental, playful approach to building better habits. Coupled with articles of inspiration, UchallengeU is designed to build better habits both mentally, physically, and in any other area of your life that's important to you.
To make our habits stick, we also need to change how we think. Below are a list of mental habits that can keep us stuck in old paradigms. Have you ever thought:
1. I don't know enough - Psychoanalyst, Hans Loewald, called not knowing the "uncertainty and confusion that accompanies learning." Let's face it. It can be hard to look and feel incompetent. But the only way to competence is by "doing the work." Start and keep going until you get stuck. Once you get stuck overcome that challenge and keep moving until you get stuck again and repeat. Start where you are. Start where you are. Start where you are and keep learning.
2. I'm not skilled enough - I don't have training. It's complicated, yes it probably is, but start anyway. Seek assistance and training to shore up your skills. Implement what you're taught. Start and keep growing your skills until you're able to hire people. Between the internet, books, online courses we have the capability to learn almost anything on demand. But don't get stuck here. Don't confuse "fake work" with "real work." Fake work is watching exercise videos and studying techniques instead of exercising. Do the real work by starting where you are and keep going until you get stuck then find the answer and keep going.
3. I don't have the time - We make time for what we truly want to do. Start with small daily behaviors. Carve out a consistent time to work on your project and do it. Early mornings before people in your household wake-up usually works best. Find the time that works for you and make an appointment with yourself. Use your special project as a challenge in UchallengeU.
4. I don't have the money - There are many things that we can do to build our skills in areas important to us so we don't have to let not having money stop us from learning or acquiring the skills. We can read books, blogs, watch youtube ect. Until we are ready to invest at a higher level.
5. I'm not good enough - Everyone has to start somewhere. Start where you are and keep going. Haven't I said this before? Yes, but I will say it again and again and again because our culture tricks us into believing that you have to be sanctioned and have permission to do things, which is not true. I'm not good enough is about your sense of self-efficacy in an endeavor. According to Albert Bandura, self-efficacy is "the belief in one’s capabilities to organize and execute the courses of action required to manage prospective situations." Essentially, it means you have the belief and willingness to persist and sustain effort to overcome challenges. Believe that you can do what you desire by taking small actions and learning along the way.
If you ever catch yourself feeling or thinking this way here is what you can say instead:
1. I may not know much about this, but I'm willing to learn.
2. I may not know how to do this, but I'm willing to try and get help along the way.
3. I can carve out a small amount of time to get started.
4. I do have the money, but I prefer to allocate it toward other things right now.
5. I may not be good at this now, but I'm willing learn and grow through the process.
What part of this post resonated with you?
Cheering you on,
Asia